http://www.musingsofahousewife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Bitter_Melon_Final_CVR-400x600.jpg
Bitter Melon by Cara Chow was a fast read. It was predictable. Girl feels shacked by her controlling mother, girl meets rich boy who also feels stifled by his family, girl and boy fall in love and try to break free together.
Even though it was predictable, Chow used interesting word choices to give the text a sense of urgency. For example, "I smile. I know exactly what he's talking about" (Chow 250). At first I thought it was a typo, then I realized the word choice forced one to be in the moment, to appreciate the now. It was a reoccurring theme throughout the book:
"I laugh even harder" (Chow 250).
"That night, I wait for my mom to go to bed" (Chow 229)"
"Theresa opens her mouth to argue" (Chow 122).
"Derek turns right onto Balboa" (Chow 119).
"My heart skips a beat" (Chow 119).
"After his speech, he walks back to his seat. As he passes, I give a humble thumbs-up. He smiles. After we are dismissed, I hesitate for a moment before leaving. If I linger a bit, maybe he will talk to me" (Chow 100).
Chow also used symbolism throughout the book to emphasize the differences between Eastern and Western ideologies. (The Eastern philosophy being emphasis on the family and the Western Philosophy being emphasis on the self). The protagonist names were even symbolic. Her Chinese name "Fei Ting" meant "Fly Stop" and her english name "Frances" meant "Free". Through the book Fei Ting struggled to find self worth despite mer mother Gracie's lies, manipulation, and criticism. Gracies's expectations were ridiculously high and she was emotionally and physically abusive. Nothing Fei Ting accomplished was ever good enough.
At first I thought the author was exaggerating to accentuate the differences between Western and Eastern cultures. (Gracie beat Fei Ting with the trophy Fei Ting won at a speech competition becuase Gracie didn't want Fei Ting to compete). Then I remembered an article I read a year ago entitled, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior by Amy Chua. According to the article, "Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently...If a Chinese child gets a B—which would never happen—there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. The devastated Chinese mother would then get dozens, maybe hundreds of practice tests and work through them with her child for as long as it takes to get the grade up to an A" (Chua).
It was ironic. At first it seemed Gracie truly cared about Fei Ting's success, but as the book went on I began to realize that Gracie was actually being selfish. Gracie's high expectations came from the conviction that Fei Ting's only lot in life was to succeed so that Fei Ting could then take care of Gracie.
In the end Fei Ting realizes this for herself:
"Everything I did, I did for you," [Gracie] says.
"No," I say. "You did it for yourself."
Mom looks at me, her eyes wide with confusion. "Aren't the two the same?" [Gracie] says (303).
Chua's article also touched on this point. "Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear, but it's probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed and done so much for their children. (And it's true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in long grueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, the understanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud" (Chua).
I guess it depends on the child. My parents were loving, kind and supportive, and it made me want to work even harder to make them proud and happy. They don't expect me to be their social security, but rather have helped me as much as they can, so I can then help my children. But if anything happened to them, I would readily help.
